Our states are touching and I have cigarette. Come hither Glee Live buddy.
God, don’t tempt me. I actually went out to see if I could get gas and, double plus bonus, a pack, but ALL THE GAS STATIONS CLOSE AT 10PM. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF TWILIGHT ZONE BULLSHIT HAVE I WALKED INTO. I’m spoiled being from New York, the land of 24-hour everything.
I have an interview next week for a job that could revitalize my career prospects and is basically the thing that will launch me out of the rut I’ve found myself in. It’s everything I want and need. If you’re the type to believe in good vibes, I’d appreciate any and all that I can get between now and 2pm on Thursday.
the female body is hardcore as fuck.
Yes is it.
so is the male body
it’s sad to see so many people like this on this website
OP is praising the fact that women hold a fucking infant in their belly the size of a ribcage, get the fuck over yourself for 3.5 seconds.
*~*~follow for more fragile male ego~*~*
The male body is more susceptible to hereditary diseases because of their lack of a second X chromosome. Their testosterone production ages them faster and causes them to die sooner. Their center of gravity is higher because of their tiny little hips and overgrown shoulders, making them easier to topple. Their gonads are placed outside of the body, in a very vulnerable position, because they do not function properly if they get a little bit warmer than usual. They have non-functional nipples, but still enough breast tissue to get cancer.
The male body is not hardcore. The male body is to the female body what a shoddy, unstable mod is to a well-estabilished piece of software. Sit the fuck down. And try to not crush your fragile pathetic outside gonads when you do it.
At the lady doctor today. I wonder how many times someone has said to her, “Whoa, there, doc. Buy a girl a drink first.”
I hate onions. Like literally, if you give me something with onions in or on it, even if they are finely chopped or minced or so fucking tiny you need a microscope to see them, I will find them, and I will spit them out.
But if you give me a package of of French’s french fried onions, I will eat the entire thing without stopping to breathe and then cut the container open to lick the insides.
*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*
The guy across the cubicle wall from me is obviously as excited to be at work on a Monday as I am. He hasn’t turned silenced his ringer so I can hear the droplet-like sounds of him playing a game on his phone.
"You’re an awfully short sunflower…" #applepicking (at Harvest Moon Orchard)